About Me

My photo
I'm 39 years olds and I'm just trying to find my place in the world. I've had a few careers, owned a few businesses, and overcame a few challenges. Now, after an entire life-time of trying my hardest to be who and what I thought everybody else wanted me to be, I'm finally ready to be myself. The fun part is uncovering who that is.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

i'm still up

so, it's 204am and i'm still awake to the irritation of my exhausted cat who i keep moving, unintentionally, every time i move. but really, it's not all my fault. i can't sleep per the manifestation of universal energy. first i was watching angel, season 1, and it was awesome. i just watched episode 5 where cordelia moves into a house haunted by a killer ghost mommy. then i started reading vandwelling and camping blogs. i started with some girl who takes awesome pics but her blog was too freaking complicated for me. if i have to work that hard to understand, i need it reflected in my gpa.

then i went to 721 and the truck house blog. he reminds me a lot of myself. so much so that while reading 721 i thought the blogger was a guy, especially since i ran across truck house sometime last year, i think, and remembered a picture of a guy; but then there were some parts i really wasn't sure. i was like, ok, maybe cool lesbian, which i have no problem with. not only am i an advocate of sexual freedom, i publicly endorse the coming out or experimentation of any female who thinks she might, in some way, have lesbian tendency. =D i fight for equal rights and reduce the eligible straight female to male ratio in my favor. what's not to like?  but then i scanned truck blog again and, true enough, he is a guy. he's just a guy in touch with his feelings who freely expresses his emotions. first, i didn't know guys had emotions like that. so many of the guys i've known have been of the not-nice variety that i just didn't think they went that deep. second, i admire his courage. i don't have it. unless someone chops off one of my body parts - well loved and cherished i might add - or i suddently decide medication is just a scam of the pharmaceutical industry to keep us enslaved in their matrix-like psychological conglomerate -  which has happened so i'm not doubting it - i don't cry. i don't cry in public, i don't cry with friends, i don't cry when drunk. i try to limit my reachable emotions to lust, love, happiness, joy, humor, concern, anger, rage, annoyance, sarcasm, and despair. if you notice, sadness and depression, not so much. but still, i may have them on layaway somewhere and have just forgotten to pick them up. therefore if i go that way, and then have a mental hiccup and post about it, just consider it bill paid and remind me that "the sun will come out, tomorrow, so i just gotta hang onto tomorrow, come what may...." lol.

now, back to reading random, vandwelling-related blogs with the peace of mind that comes from knowing my alarm is set to wake me up no later than 12:00 for my 130pm (that's 1330 to you military types) window-tinting $60 appointment later today, since i have been known to sleep till 330pm (yes, you read it correctly 1530).

nitey nite.

No comments:

Post a Comment

hi. feel free to leave a comment but please make sure to keep it positive. life is too short for ugly.